Saturday, April 18, 2009

Words Women Use

This was just too good not to pass along . . . but it got me thinking about what historical women would have said in place of these modern terms . . .

Here's what I came up with. Please feel free to add you own translations.

1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

A historical woman might say “very well” instead.

2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

In history (at least in Scotland) the equivalent might be “in the shake of a lamb’s tail.”

3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

In historical speak, one might say “Naught to trifle yourself over.” A dangerous statement, indeed.

4. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

A historical woman might be heard to say “As you wish.” Which has nothing to do with wishing.

5. Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

Women in history sighed as well, with the same intent.

6. That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

Historical women were every bit as crafty as modern women despite their lack of equality. In the home, women ruled. A "that's okay" or in historic speak -- "nevertheemind" -- might have brought on a pint of stale ale or an unusual amount of braised turnips for dinner or a chilly reception in the bedchamber.

7. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome'. that will bring on a 'whatever').

Historically, a woman might say "With gratitude." However, if she says, "You have my undying gratitude" with a hint of reproach in her voice, that is equivalent to "thanks a lot."

8. Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F---YOU!

The phrase "yes, milord" comes to mind as a historical equivalant. Used in the appropiate context, it can translate exactly to "whatever."

9. Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

"Don't trouble yourself over it . . . " comes to mind as the perfect historical response.

So what do you think? What would your interpretation of these modern terms be?


Jennifer Ashley/ Allyson James / Ashley Gardner April 18, 2009 at 3:32 PM  

Gerri, you are funny! I'm laughing my *ss off.

I wonder how a historical woman would say that...

EmilyBryan April 18, 2009 at 6:33 PM  

derierre, my dear.

Bonnie Vanak April 19, 2009 at 5:19 PM  

LOL Gerri, you are too funny.

Five minutes reminds me of the "soon come" they use in Jamaica. One guy told me it means "not less than half an hour!"

Thanks for the giggles!

Genella deGrey April 20, 2009 at 1:50 PM  

LOVE this!
Busting my bodice -
Cramp in the corset -
Well, bounce my bustle.

Cindy Holby

Gerri Russell

Joy Nash

Bonnie Vanak

Emily Bryan

C.L. Wilson

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